A Little Bit of Luck, but a Whole Lot of Choice

This is a post to every girl out there that is avoiding those red flags, the ones that are staying with the guy because it’s easy or they’ve just been together too long. As Tomorrow is my first anniversary with Lucas and I reflect on how blessed I am with him as my husband. And how blessed I was with Justin.Two amazing men have came into my life at two separate times. While some may say it’s luck, and maybe a little of it is, I believe a lot of it is knowing your worth, asking the right questions in the beginning and not ignoring the red flags.

I’ve been there, the girl that’s been with the guy so long that you don’t know anything else. You know it isn’t right, but you’ve invested so much time, the thought of anything else makes your stomach turn. The red flags are all there, but the thought of marriage and babies one day can be all consuming at times. Especially when you’re young and that’s all you’ve know. But I’m here to tell you, you should be asking questions with every red flag. Because life becomes real, real fast. Weddings and baby showers are great but what you’re really looking for is a life partner and a co-parent, not someone that doesn’t care to hear about your day or your problems, and not someone that views being a father as a short term babysitting gig when you have to run to the store. I’m not saying that there are not guys out there that are good talkers, but it’s up to you to examine his actions. It’s not a cliche saying, it’s something to live by; actions speak louder than words. If something seems off, it probably is. Question it, and if it doesn’t feel right question it more until you are confident in what your decision is.

 I know how Important it was for me

To be a wife and a mother. But what I’ve come to realize is, I am only the best of those roles when I’m the best of myself. One thing my parents instilled in my was that I need to be able

to take care of myself. After graduating from Dental Hygiene school, it was like a weight was lifted off of me. I knew come hell or high water, man or no man, I was going to be able to provide for myself and eventually my children. So if you can’t avoid those red flags, then please be able to take care of yourself if something were to happen. Because forever isn’t promised, whether that be they walk out or they’re taken from you before they should be. 
My point here is, there are amazing men out there... that Will pick you up when you’re down and that will share the parenting roll with you. I’m married to one right now, and spent 3 years married to one that was taken from us. But as much as it is the luck of finding them, it is more about making the choice not to stay with the wrong ones and using this life not only to be the best wife and mother but also the best version of you that you can.