Any Less of a Widow

       Today my heart hurts. As I reflect on the past two years, and everything that has came along with it...the sadness, the joy, the love that was found and the friendships that were lost so quickly after they were found. Today, I am sad because I think some where along the way, I have been viewed as less of a widow, because I chose to remarry. Just because new love has been found, does not and can not mean that my love for Justin has been lost. I was still the one that he chose to marry, the one he shared his life with, the one he chose to create life with. My heart hurts still that he is not here. Nothing will ever change that. No amount of joy and happiness in my life will ever take away the hurt that has came from losing Justin. I have learned that for most people, that is hard to comprehend. I have heard it all..."She never loved him", "She was cheating on him, had to be"....and to those people, I am so sorry that you are so ignorant. Ignorant to the love that Justin and I shared, ignorant to my moral values and the person that I am. 

And really what I think bothers me the most of all of this is, you haven't just turned your back on me. You have turned your back on Taylor. I cannot begin to count the people that said they would always be there for both of us....that we haven't heard a peep out of since I decided to hold my head high, and let love back into both of our loves. I think I will stop here for today, because these words are coming from a place that's not full of love. But today, it is how I feel.